One of the biggest misunderstandings that women have about men is that we’ve been conditioned to think of them as strong, virile, tall, handsome, protector, etc.

And, some men fit that bill.  What we don’t realize is that on the inside, most men are more vulnerable than women – but they dare not show it.  They really have feelings even when they don’t express them articulately. 

You, a woman, are built to be very strong emotionally.  After all, your body is made to bear and rear children should you choose to do so.  There’s a lot of mental toughness that comes with the job or potential job of motherhood.  Most women are initially daunted by this task but adjust to the demands of marriage and motherhood, and/or to a highly demanding career as time goes on.

What a man really wants is a wife with whom he can be vulnerable with.  The proverbial “soft place to fall.”  And, guess what, we want the same thing in a man!  He needs to be able to confide his deepest fears and his deepest desires and you will need to be that trusted friend before and after marriage.

So, while most of us love the idea of a tough, handsome and protective mate (on the outside), the ideal relationship would encompass your external preferences with a tender, accessible and generous person on the inside

Early on in the dating process, you’ll be able to discern these qualities.  Remember, men as a rule, don’t talk as much as women do (although there are some exceptions – as in my case – we talk about everything).  Without “probing” him, see if you can draw out conversations that go beyond surface stuff (politics, weather, news, sports)…see how much he shares about himself over the first couple of dates.  If by the third date, you feel that he’s still a stranger – perhaps it’s time to move on to someone else.  Don’t waste time because the man for you IS going to come along – especially if you don’t tie yourself down into a poor relationship and miss out on the right one altogether.  So, keep your options open!

 Let me know if this has been of help and I’ll be happy to answer any of your questions!

Until next time…