http://telepicturesblog.warnerbros.com/tyrashow/2007/11/dating_safely.php

Perhaps you thought I’d address Part II – What You Need To Know About Men…and I will.  Next time.

It occurred to me that I needed to briefly address what it is that we put our faith in.  Now, although I am a Christian woman, I am not necessarily discussing Biblical Faith…and yet I am, for those who have ears to hear.

You know, everyone has faith- of some sort.  When you buy a house, you have faith that you’ll be able to afford your mortgage payments and maintenance costs – even when it’s quite possible that situations can come up that could interfere with making those payments.  Yet, you sign the papers, get the keys and you’re in!

This is the kind of faith that a woman must have about entering into a quality relationship with a man.  Before you can buy that house, car or even a banana – you have faith that you’ll have the means to acquire that object.  This is the same kind of faith that’s necessary for entering into friendships, romantic relationships or business relationships.  The faith that we will have the wherewithal to initiate and sustain those beneficial relationships in our lives.

Anyway, think about this and let me know your thoughts…until next time.

One of the biggest misunderstandings that women have about men is that we’ve been conditioned to think of them as strong, virile, tall, handsome, protector, etc.

And, some men fit that bill.  What we don’t realize is that on the inside, most men are more vulnerable than women – but they dare not show it.  They really have feelings even when they don’t express them articulately. 

You, a woman, are built to be very strong emotionally.  After all, your body is made to bear and rear children should you choose to do so.  There’s a lot of mental toughness that comes with the job or potential job of motherhood.  Most women are initially daunted by this task but adjust to the demands of marriage and motherhood, and/or to a highly demanding career as time goes on.

What a man really wants is a wife with whom he can be vulnerable with.  The proverbial “soft place to fall.”  And, guess what, we want the same thing in a man!  He needs to be able to confide his deepest fears and his deepest desires and you will need to be that trusted friend before and after marriage.

So, while most of us love the idea of a tough, handsome and protective mate (on the outside), the ideal relationship would encompass your external preferences with a tender, accessible and generous person on the inside

Early on in the dating process, you’ll be able to discern these qualities.  Remember, men as a rule, don’t talk as much as women do (although there are some exceptions – as in my case – we talk about everything).  Without “probing” him, see if you can draw out conversations that go beyond surface stuff (politics, weather, news, sports)…see how much he shares about himself over the first couple of dates.  If by the third date, you feel that he’s still a stranger – perhaps it’s time to move on to someone else.  Don’t waste time because the man for you IS going to come along – especially if you don’t tie yourself down into a poor relationship and miss out on the right one altogether.  So, keep your options open!

 Let me know if this has been of help and I’ll be happy to answer any of your questions!

Until next time… 

This is my first post to this blog.  I wanted to share a bit of my story with you so that you can see that despite the odds, there really is hope for you.

I’ve been engaged 3 times – only married once.  The first time was to my high school sweetheart – a few short weeks before the ceremony – right before his college graduation – he broke my heart.  He left me for another man.  Uh-huh, you heard that right.  Suffice it to say, we made our way back to each other six years later and have maintained a platonic friendship for many years (we send birthday and holiday cards to each other).

The second time was a rebound off of the previous situation - what was I thinking???

This time there was a wedding – and just as I was about to divorce the guy 2 years later, I found out that my marriage wasn’t legal to begin with – so I got an anullment for sixty bucks. 

I spent the next 10 years of my life dating a few guys but I never felt empowered in my relationships with them.  Right before I moved out west, I was dating a guy who was 20 years older than myself.  One Sunday afternoon, he sat me on his knee (like a daughter) and gave me the talk that I wish my own father had given me around age 14 or so.  He taught me what I needed to know about how men think and how to maintain my own standards and self-esteem regarding dating relationships.  (By the way, he’s a published author on relationships). 

Let me tell you, my whole world changed after that afternoon.  I learned that I really controlled the types of relationships I allowed myself to enter – be they of a personal or of a business nature.  I really felt like a caterpillar who had just metamorphed into a monarch butterfly.  To this day, when I remember to follow this advice, things always turn out great.

So, what I’ll be sharing with you is what I learned about being in my own power as a woman – especially as it relates to relationships.  Get this right, and the world will treat YOU right.  Until next time…